Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
And that`s when I realized, it wasn`t the hamburger who needed help, it was me
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
The smaller the town, the bigger the sex cult.
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks