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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It`s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
There`s nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can`t cure.
The only honest people in the world are small children and me after a couple cocktails.
I say the things better left unsaid.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.