Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
I`m constantly bombarded with requests to check out `Candy Crush`… well I`ve spent hours searching the porn networks… I can`t bloody find her!
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!
I’m an only child, and I’m still not the favorite.
At this point in my life the only reason I want to be rich is to hire somebody to clean my house.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…