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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
Iād like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
After the doctor left the exam room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn`t want to hear. "Who was that?"
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
Iām in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.