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Before the internet I used to like people.
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
Standing up: Wow, I`m actually kind of skinny. Sitting down: Okay, maybe not..
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
Iām over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?
You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.