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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
Any hedge can be a maze if you are drunk enough.
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
I just ran a .003048K
Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry.
Most people who think I`m a nice person have no idea that I`d trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.