Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
You can make your life more entertaining by simply reaching out, and getting to know a whore.
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
The hardest thing about returning to work after a long weekend is remembering to fart quietly.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
If the liquor store didn`t want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"