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Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
There`s an emoji for eggplants but not for popcorn and this is why trusting people isn`t just hard, it`s impossible.
Always be yourself, unless you suck…and if you suck you should try being more like me.
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
I haven`t owned a watch for I don`t know how long.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with
Cop: Sir what is in the bottle next to you? Man: It`s water *hands the cop the bottle* Cop: Sir, this is wine. Man: Jesus did it again!
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?