Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
To be honest with you, I start all my lies with to be honest with you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don`t want people to recognize me when I`m pooping.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.