Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
Father: Earlier you used to call me papa but now dad, why? Daughter: Come on dad, calling you PAPA spoiles my lipstick.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
I bet strippers look forward to that feeling of getting home and wearing a bra after a long day at work.
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
OMG, you guys, there`s a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is...
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane Iām making has lace on it.
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?
Our swear jar is always empty because of all the god damn foul mouthed thieves that live in this f*cking house.