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"I`d like a bowl of soup please." "Any sides?" "I hope so, or it`ll go EVERYWHERE."
Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
I don`t know what`s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
Decisions decisions ... Guess I`ll drink on it.
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.