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my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
Imagine how creepy the first guy to dress up as a clown must have been, where in hell did he get that idea?
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
“My phone’s about to die.” is what I say 30 seconds into every phone call. Just in case!
My chemistry teacher asked us what the heaviest metal was today. Apparently "Megadeath" was the wrong answer.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.