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How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
The fox says you need to stop.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.
I can read your mind, your thinking about sex right now, no wait, wait.. that`s my mind, sorry, I can read my mind. . .
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
Speed bumps can turn into speed ramps depending on who`s car I`m borrowing.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
Relationship status: Are you gonna eat that?
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
I just don`t get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.