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Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Efficiency: skip your morning, wake up in the afternoon.
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...