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Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
I`m an optimist. I didn`t lose a sock in the dryer. I found an extra one!
I said "Candyman" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there.
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends.
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet....
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?