Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE: Oh... I have nothing to say, I just crave the spotlight.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
I used to think I was a man of vision. Now i`m pretty sure they`re hallucinations.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do