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When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
Have you hugged you bartender today.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
Married sext: I`m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
Friends don’t let friends twerk.
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people know where my tolerance level is at.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.