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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
Stealing other people`s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.
Ladies, wonder if he`s busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday