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I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body. Some people are capable of getting on every last one of them.
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
The NFL has hired their first female referee ... She will be throwing flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn`t tear away ..
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?