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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
FYI fellas: if you wake up with some chick and you can`t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They`ll write her name on the cup for ya!!!
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = Sup B*tches.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.