Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
I`ve been taking viagara for my sunburn........ It doesn`t cure it...... but it does keep the sheets off my legs at night.
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
My ex said he would die for me. All I`m saying is, it was his suggestion.
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house
Admit it: you have all tried to rap in the shower..