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A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
Million dollar idea: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you`re up.
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
My daughter exclaims "Cheers!" before she takes a drink of juice. So no, actually, I am NOT looking forward to parent - teacher conferences.
Just once I want my boss to assume I`m tired in the morning because I fight crime all night, not because of all the booze I drank.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.