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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me.
Marriage is just a 50 year long negotiation over thermostat settings.
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Last night I went out drinking with some high school friends. About 2 hours into it they were like..."dude, shouldn`t you be hanging out with people your own age?"
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button