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I’m trusting a whole lot of people not to randomly murder me throughout the day.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...