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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don’t like, I just say “oh yeah, that’s where that really cute girl works”. Problem solved.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
Why is it that when you work very hard, you say you are working like a dog? Every dog I`ve ever known is lazy and sleeps 16 hours a day.
Woke up to my teen cleaning the house for "no reason" and now I have a mystery to solve.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
At least a stalker is there for you.