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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Hope I never go to jail, because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2003.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
There`s a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
Velcro is a ripoff
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
I make a great second impression.
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
Printing an expiration date on a bag of Cheetos is just a waste of ink.
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
The Spanish version of the Subway jingle β€œ65.63 Peso 0.3 meter largo” isn’t quite as catchy…