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A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
I`ll be there in a second I just gotta finish writing this letter of apology to a club owner for tearing up his dance floor last night..
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?