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Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn`t then have to know them the rest of your life.
Don’t bother flirting with the girl from accounting, she knows how much money you really make.
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
If you’re a millionaire and you don’t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool then you should just give me all of your money because you’re wasting it
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I put on real clothes today. What more do you want from me?
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.