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When I say "It`s a long story," it doesn`t mean it`s actually a long story. It means I just don`t want to tell you.
These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!