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Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
I met a woman on a dating site that said she was high maintenance when I finally saw her it looked more like she was in need of major repairs
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I`m the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don`t feel trained for this, and I certainly didn`t sign up for the position.
I think people who challenge me at Words With Friends are most impressed with my vast knowledge of three letter words.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.