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I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
Just once, I`d like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
Hello...
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
Ya .... That Supermoon was OK ..... But I was quite disappointed when I realized it didn`t even have a cape.
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.