Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid sh!t you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
If we learned anything from the Mayans, it’s that if you don’t finish something, it’s not the end of the world
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
What idiot called it the "Happy Birthday" song instead of New Age music
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.