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Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
"Grapey." -me after every wine at the wine-tasting
Anytime my boss leaves her office, I sneak in there and fart.
Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
I declare today, “Hit that dumb person you’ve always wanted to punch in the face day.”
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!