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I put the o in illiterate!
A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
The more I drink, the more I realize how much more I still want to drink.
is available for rebound sex.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = Sup B*tches.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.