Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If laziness was a sport, I would win first. Except I would have to send someone to except my medal.
I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
Girl: What`s the plan, get me drunk and take advantage of me. Boy: Good, you`ve done this before
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.