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Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
String cheese is the sexiest of the cheeses. It’s like you get to undress it.
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
I bought my mother in-law one of those atomic clocks. I can`t wait for the alarm to go off.
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.
ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable
If horror movies have taught me anything, it`s lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.