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How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
"How much for the man cave?" "Sir that`s a doghouse." "Can you install cable?"
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Never send in a beer to do the work of a tequila shot.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
I just accidentally opened the door for a Jehovah`s Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they’re absolutely right because smart men don’t get married.
The roof of the McDonalds in my town has 38 Pickle slices on it from times I ordered sh!t without pickles in it.