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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
Any perfume that claims it will help you seduce a man is lying if it doesn’t smell like a pizza.
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead. I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then.
Why haven’t we just found someone ballsy enough to dress up as Mrs Bigfoot and catch him already?
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
I’m the king of balancing more trash on top of an already full trash can.
drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is...
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.