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I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
“Are you completely sure this isn’t textable?” -the perfect voicemail prompt.
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
Are you thinking what I`m thinking? ... F**king pervert. I`m calling the cops.
Some people want to get in shape before they go to a gym. Which is the equivalent of losing weight so you can go on a diet
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it`s obvious he had no idea how letters work.
A week is just five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.