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A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
That awkward moment when you get in the van... And there`s no candy.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
only 9530 days until retirement.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
Everything I know about women, I learned from the Wizard of Oz. For example: If a woman sees a pair of shoes she wants, she`ll drop a house on the bitch to get them.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
I`d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don`t wanna see you everyday.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why