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A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
If Monday had a face, I´d punch it.
A good lawyer knows the law ... A great lawyer knows the judge.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
There`s nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can`t cure.
Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift.
ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…