Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
"The Twilight Zone" makes me long for the days when you could smoke on a spaceship.
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.