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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
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Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he`s homeless or just tired from breakdancing.
Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…