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If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn’t listening to begin with.
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
Soup of the day: Tequila.
Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.
So the state trooper said "I`ve been following you with my lights flashing for three miles. Why didn`t you pull over?" and I said "Well, a few years ago my wife ran away with a state trooper and I was worried that you were trying to return her."
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.