Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.
I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point when she turned around and found out I was walking her home.
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
The best part about being over 40 is we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet.
And then God said, "Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I`ll give women the power over which to control it."
Browsing the internet when bored is like the virtual version of checking the refrigerator...
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.