Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
I`m home by myself this evening. My wife is out at Kohl`s buying another load of laundry.
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that sh!t.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
I hope someone drives slightly slower in front of you on a crowded highway and you can’t pass.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.