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I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
I told my wife that I have a sexual satisfaction guarantee policy. If you`re not completely satisfied, we`ll just do it all over again. Guaranteed.
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won`t send my dog to obedience school
Every morning I swallow a piece of paper that says "Keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case I die and the doctors have to do an autopsy on me
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.
How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Alladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldn’t be surprised when they misbehave, they get it from their storybooks!
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!