Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
*Gets absolutely nothing done*… Welp time for a break.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
I wish I had my own private chauffeur. . . . Then I could really commit to being an alcoholic!
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
Diet Tip #63 : Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.