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Partying on my level requires years of training.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
If you look in the mirror and say "Taylor Swift" three times, she magically appears then breaks up with you. What do u know next? You`re a song!
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
If our son ever decides he wants to play sports, I`ll sign up to be his coach. It`s important that he knows that I`ll swear at other kids too.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.