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When a woman says, "I`m NOT crazy" *clapping her palms together per syllable* That`s universal for, "You`re going to die."
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
My love is like a candle, If you forget about me, I`ll burn your frikin house down!
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
Guys say that women should come with instructions, but what`s the point. Have you ever seen a man read instructions?
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.
I play hard to get along with.