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I know I have a long way to go but look at how far I`ve come.
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Keep calm and drink on.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
I`ve come to believe that everyone on Earth could benefit from a 12 step program.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.