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Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
Will be drunk until further notice.
I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I’ll ever get to yoga.