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Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
I`m not upset because it`s Monday, I`m upset because I have to wear pants
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
that akward moment when you finish doing your thing in the toilet and you realise there is no tissue
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
Doing some laundry and hot single socks in my dryer are looking for a mate.
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don’t really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.