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Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.