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That awkward moment when you get in the van... And there`s no candy.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
Meanwhile on Facebook, someone has made a casserole...
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don`t use words like "East."
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?