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If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
“I’ll be speaking with my lawyer” is the adult version of saying “I`m telling mom”
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!