Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
No, I didn`t say I was a taxidermist. I said, I can stuff your beaver.
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it`s not just women who won`t marry you.
"May the 4th" be with you!
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
I know two wrongs don`t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I`m like on 756.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
It’s called β€œKarma” and it’s pronounced β€œHaha, f*ck you!”.
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
Judging by the commercials, only old white guys with sailboats can suffer from erectile dysfunction.
I remembered my wedding anniversary today. It was last week.