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word of the day: nincomtard
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
Diet plan: make friends fatter
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years.
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs!
I don’t know how your day is going, but I just got lucky on the couch! Yep, I found a dollar!
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!