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Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
Pizza gal reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" With a smirk I reply,"Yes, I`d also like to order a pizza."
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
Cop: Sir what is in the bottle next to you? Man: It`s water *hands the cop the bottle* Cop: Sir, this is wine. Man: Jesus did it again!
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.