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It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
I have off-road rage, too
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries