Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My doctor told me to stop drinking...Then he told me to stop laughing.
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
Moms birthday is next week. I can’t find a card that says “I wish you loved me more than vodka.”
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
That moment when being uncool, is cool
I think stupid people were put on this earth to test my anger management skills.