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If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-a$$ing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending Iām being possessed by the devil is not funny.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Your so lazy you should have a Life Alert bracelet that says I`m Just Napping.
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
insert coin to view my status
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough