Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I say "It`s a long story," it doesn`t mean it`s actually a long story. It means I just don`t want to tell you.
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
Four words that I never want to hear: we`re out of beer
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
A hard thing about business is minding your own
I hope we`re friends until we die and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the sh!t out of people.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
Like a stoned man once said, I can`t remember.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
my girlfriend does that cute thing, where she doesnt exist.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird.