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Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
Just want to apologize to all the unlucky men that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped her.
I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
Just a reminder that your coworkers aren`t going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.