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Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can`t conjugate verbs.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
Boobs, because you can`t motorboat a personality.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.