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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.