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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
I just gotta believe that as a species we`re capable of making an automatic hand dryer that`s quieter than an airplane.
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy; screw you all.