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Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
Why do blurry people always ask me if I’m drunk?
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.
My Wife asked, "Would you like a romantic interlude?" I said, "Does a bear crap in the woods?". Wish I`d just said `Yes`, she`s been on Google ever since.