Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
Nothing says "My life isn`t going exactly as I planned" quite like being at Wal Mart at 1am.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
Iād go to the gym but Iām still tinkering with the ultimate workout playlist I started three years ago.
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
Real friends show me their boobs
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.