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Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
Hi I’m a spider & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.
How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Alladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldn’t be surprised when they misbehave, they get it from their storybooks!