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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Adulthood is mostly about being tired and wishing you hadn’t made plans.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
After much thought and careful consideration, I`ve decided not to do a damn thing today.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you have a crush on someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.