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I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
Hi I’m a spider & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you`re able to "fall asleep right now."
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
insert coin to view my status
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.