Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
My mom says I`m special.
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.