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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
The good thing about "poking" on Facebook, no babies are created.
I`m scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I`ll run them under cold water for half a second
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree ... I think I found my spirit animal.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Who called them expiration dates instead of spoiler alerts
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.